Grandma's Funeral: Mom Horning Story #9
We had another health crisis in the family recently. The man who was husband, father, and Grandpa
had a heart attack. Phone calls buzzed
between parents, siblings, and children about serious things—truly matters of
life and death. But it is amazing how
often we laughed and recalled other times when coping skills and faith were
tested—like on Grandma H’s Funeral Day.
She had
died swiftly, almost without pain and with one of the greatest exit lines
ever. She admitted to being 85 but was
actually 88-- or so, as records of her birth burned with the courthouse years
before. Grandma, while never really
sick, “enjoyed” ill health—not with moans or groans, but with expressive sighs
for every occasion. On the day she died,
she had baked her famous chocolate potato torte. Her last action before going to the hospital
was turning off the oven. Less than an
hour later, in the small county hospital, she took her husband’s hand in the
same way she had for over 50 years, looked him straight in the eye and said
quietly but accusingly, “See Jud, I told you I had heart trouble,” and sighed
her last sigh.
Her six
grandchildren ranged in age from 6 to 23.
The older ones, states apart and in different school, jobs, and
universities pooled thoughts, resources and rides, and flew up to Wisconsin to
pay their last respects. We parents had
driven up as soon as we heard she was on the way to the hospital. Family had not been all together for many
months, so after the religious, sisterly, and graveside services and procession
of over 50 miles, we went to a restaurant for dinner. It was late, the weather was foul, the food
was good and coffee cups were kept filled—so we talked, chatted and
reminisced.
Someone mentioned a song and our
sons, so used to singing together, blended voices. Diners at other tables added theirs. There was clapping, laughter and more songs. The waitress asked, “What’s the happy
occasion?” Someone answered “Grandma’s
funeral.” The waitress was puzzled but
unflappable. She raised the coffee pot
high and said, “Here’s to Grandma, the coffee’s on us!”
Transcribed by G. M. Horning
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